I know this is Love.

It's been almost 2 weeks since I've posted. 

Oops....I let life get a hold of me - where are my accountability partners?!?

...kidding :)

I think I've been avoiding writing this post, because I knew what The Lord had put on my heart to talk about, and it's not an easy topic for me.

My Testimony.

I grew up in an ELCA Lutheran Church, where my parents were both active members of the congregation. My Mom was the Music Director, and my Dad a member of the choir, and church council. It wasn't unusual for us to spend each Sunday morning, afternoon and Wednesday evening at church for various activities, and events. 

I eventually stopped going to church regularly after high school. I never really felt 'at home' in the church my parents chose to attend, and didn't make it a priority to find one where I did. 

Throughout college I hit a serious stage of rebellion, where I got drunk, did drugs and slept with men who did not love or respect me. I was searching for some deep meaning in life that I thought I could find through all of these things. I tried to go back to my parents church periodically, but still found it boring and dull. I just wrote it all off as 'not for me'.

Towards the end of college I was in a bad place.  I had turned into someone a younger version of me wouldn't know, or like. I didn't take my responsibilities, school, job or life seriously. My life consisted of work, party, sleep, class, repeat. I was unhappy with who I was, the people around me and the things I was a part of. I needed something more.

Rewind a little:

I met my husband in the summer of 2008 where we both worked at the YMCA. I was a lifeguard and he was a camp counselor, (cute right? summer love...) We went out a few times, hung out in groups of friends, but ultimately it didn't work out. We parted as friends, with no intentions of pursuing a relationship further.

Fast-Forward to 2011:

I'm working at my job as a waitress, shortly after making a serious decision to change my ways and I see him, sitting in the bar giving me this 'hey come talk to me' look. I was not looking for any attention, I wanted to be left alone to get out of this mess I was in and to figure out what my life meant. But little did I know The Lord had different plans for us.

I 100% truly believe God gave me my husband. He sent him to me when He knew exactly what I needed. 

Christ brought Austin to me, and Austin brought me to Christ. 

Austin was involved in the children's ministry at a local church plant, leading the service for the children on Sunday mornings as well as youth events on Wednesday evenings. His love for The Lord was one of the first things I noticed about him. Soon we were attending church together on a regular basis, and I found myself digging out my old bible to find what I had been looking for, for so long.

After about a year together, Austin and I found a new church that we both really enjoyed going to together. My desire to know Christ more was emerging slowly, but surely. We both got into serving at our new church to get more involved, and making steps together as a couple to draw closer to Christ, only deepened my individual want and need for more of Christ. In August of 2012 I made the decision to fully commit my life to Christ.

and it's been the best decision I've ever made.

I wake up really early sometimes, and quietly sit in God's presence. I love reading His word early in the morning when my house is quiet and still. It's like I have The Lord all to myself, and we get to talk about everything. I share with Him that I still struggle with who I used to be. I still stumble, I still don't feel good enough sometimes.

But then I remember Isaiah 43 - 
'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine'

and 

' I am redeemed. You set me free. So I'll shake off these heavy chains, and wipe away every stain. I'm not who I used to be. I am redeemed.'
-Big Daddy Weave

I asked God quite frequently to continue to give me faith. To trust Him.To  learn to love who I am.

'Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!'
- 2 Corinthians 5:17


I'm a sinner. I get caught up in life. I'm broken. But the great thing about God that I've learned is He takes all my mess, and makes it beautiful. He is jealous for me. He loves me, and His love is great.


When I look at Austin, my heart fills up with so much joy and I smile to myself and think 'I know this is love'

and when I read God's word, worship His name at church and listen to His music, my heart fills up with so much joy and I smile to myself and think

'I know this is love'

xoxo,

Rachel.

Free Gifts

Fun Fact about Rachel #83:

I love coffee...a lot.

I also love coffee mugs. So much so that my husband asked me to pick which ones I loved most, and then move the others into the attic because we were running out of room.

When I came across this blog and read about a mugswap, I signed up instantly! I received my assignment earlier this week, (the person I'm to buy a mug for, a little bit about her likes and style and her mailing information.) How fun is that!?

Today I found the perfect mug for her:

I hope when (and if) she sees this post, that she'll know how excited I am for her to have this mug.

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I've had this deep desire to expand my relationship with Christ. I'm eager to know my purpose, and how God wants me used to do His will. I want to boldly share my faith in Jesus because I want others to know the amazing love of Christ. I want every person I come into contact with to know Him intimately.


So I've been reading through Ephesians this week. 

My church Vintage City, is in a series called 'Identity' discussing who we are, who we used to be, and who we are in Christ. 

I think Ephesians 1 does a great job of helping me understand who God says I am.

• You are chosen (v. 4).
• He has made you holy and blameless.
• You are adopted as children through Jesus Christ (v.5)

It's hard sometimes to read these promises and feel worthy. I always feel like I can do better, I can be better.

 Paul warms my heart in verses 17-19:

'I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.'

I pray this prayer often. Not only for myself but for so many others too. My heart sometimes feels like its busting with love for Christ, so much so that I want everyone else to have that same feeling.

Ephesians 2 I think, does a good job of telling us who we were. Paul describes it for us:

 'All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath' (v.3)

This is what it is without God, we have no hope of saving ourselves.

But then...
'But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions -- it is by grace you have been saved' (v. 4-5)

'For by grace I have been saved through faith. And this is not my own doing; it is the gift of God' (v.8)

It's a gift, simple as that. The gift of grace.  
I'd like to think that God feels the same way about us accepting Him and His grace the same way I do about my mugswap buddy getting her mug. 

I hope she'll know how excited I am for her to have this gift. 

God feels the same way about our relationship with Him. When we feel His love, that we will know how excited He is for us, and wants to give us the gift of grace.

Luke 8

Fun Fact about Rachel #283:

I really do not like rain.

It irritates me, my pants get all wet, I always always forget my umbrella, and my hair has a vendetta against the rain. So I get to suffer the embarrassment that is my hair on any day there is a slight amount of moisture in the air. So with that being said, has anyone else noticed that it's rained like...all year? Ugh. It rained on my birthday...at the beach, it rained on my wedding day...and it rained on my honeymoon. I really really do not like rain.

I was probably around 17 before I figured out that the world did not revolve around me ( !?!?! I KNOW, I was surprised too.) So just because I don't like rain, obviously doesn't mean The Lord is going to command the heavens close up and quit raining, simply because I want it to.

Hubs and I have been working our way through the Gospels. We've started on Luke and came across chapter 8 yesterday. 

There is SO MUCH in this chapter I think worthy of study. I spent an entire day reflecting on the first 15 verses ( The Parable of the Farmer Scattering Seed - it'll make you think! )

But what stuck out to me most yesterday was when Jesus Calms the Storm:

One day Jesus said to his disciples, "Let's cross to the other side of the lake." So they go into a boat and started out. As they sailed across, Jesus settled down for a nap. But soon a fierce storm came down on the lake. The boat was filling with water, and they were in real danger. The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!" When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and the raging waves. Suddenly the storm stopped and all was calm. Then he asked them, "Where is your faith?" The disciples were terrified and amazed. 'Who is this man?' they asked each other. 'When he gives a command, even the wind and waves obey him!' 

- Luke 8:22-25

I would have been one of those disciples freaking out. I think The Lord pointed this out to me and had it sit on my heart so heavy, as to ask me where my faith was? 

See, I'm currently 'mid-storm' with a certain situation in my life. The figurative waters are rising, the waves are high, and sometimes I get really afraid that I'm going to drown. I've tried and tried to do everything in my ability to survive this storm, but it's too big, too strong and I'm freaking out. 

Have you ever read a passage in the bible, and instantly thought, "I was supposed to read that" well, that was me yesterday morning. I knew The Lord was speaking to me through Luke. Where is my faith? Have I fully given this problem to God, and let Him take control?

I love how the passage says 'the storm stopped, and all was calm'. Even though I don't care for rain, how beautiful is everything after it stops? The sky is always bluer than before, the suns a little warmer, everything is greener, and everything does seem calm. I think that's how 'storms' in our lives are, and sometimes when it rains it pours and everything goes wrong all at once. But how great is it when we give those storms to The Lord, and have the faith that with Him, we'll be fine. We can count on Him, to calm the waves and know that everything will be beautiful in the end. For me, the storms and rain are worth it.

xoxo,

Rachel

Currently listening to: Hillsong United Pandora Radio. (it's a good one :) )