Mommy, Put Down Your Phone

You guys, we went on a small family vacation for a long weekend this past week and it was awesome.

If I could, I'd share a picture of Ellie sliding down the slide at the waterpark with her Daddy right after she stuck her finger in her mouth and 'whistled' (mimicking the lifeguards with their whistles - SO FUNNY!) for me to not catch her and to get out of the way. I'd share a picture of her talking to the parrot in our hotel lobby saying 'Hey Paco! Don't you member me? I'm ELLIE!' or I'd share a picture of her standing in her undies on our balcony looking through her grandfather's binoculars at the ducks. But I don't have any of those. I don't have any because aside from the one or two pictures I quickly snapped while we went out for ice cream and the one we took the morning we left I didn't have my phone much. 

Admittedly, I'm probably one of those moms. You know, the one that shares a ton of pictures of her kid and all the fun they have. The one that documents every step, stage and event? I'm okay with that. I like looking back at all the stages of EK's little life and seeing the memories. But this past weekend, I was the mom that was in the moment.

We visited the Great Smokies Lodge, in Tennessee complete with a ginormous indoor/outdoor waterpark and an arcade and indoor play area that would make your 8 year old self jealous. It was a kid's heaven. But here's the thing, more often than not I noticed the moms not joining in on the fun. Most of them stood in the 1 foot section of the water snapping pictures and waving as their children screamed and played. I heard one girl ask her mom to 'come play' to which her response was 'hold on I'm posting this picture!' Some moms had their phones in what I assume is a waterproof necklace type thing that allowed them to take pictures while in the water. But the dads? The dads were right in the middle of the action, dumping water on kids heads, jumping waves in the wave pool and going down the huge water slides with their kids. 

Y'all, I get it. We moms are usually the one to make sure we get the picture. We're notorious for being the one taking the picture rather than being in it. I've read (and shared) a blog post lately where it's encouraging Dads to snap the picture. But here's the thing - if Dad is the one out there playing how is he going to get the picture? It HAS to be us, right?

We left our phones in the hotel room not even bothering to take them with us down to the pools. At times, I felt guilty for not being able to capture all the fun she was having. But you know what I was able to do? I was able to rock this 20 week pregnant belly in a bathing suit and go down slides with EK. I was able to splash around with her in the big pool and help her conquer the big slide in the toddler area. I was able to play with her, which by her request, is all she wanted.

When we got home we emptied our bags, started the laundry and sat down to relax before going back to everyday life tomorrow. I had my nose in my phone catching up on posts and articles I missed over the past few days when EK tried to get my attention....'Mommy, put down your phone. Do you want to play with me?'.....yes baby, I do.

Our kids don't care about the posts or the pictures. Chances are most likely they'll never see them or remember either. But they will remember when we played with them. They'll remember how silly we were and how we made them feel when we didn't care how we looked to others and jumped in and played with them. I'm not intending to mom shame anyone by writing this and I'm definitely not saying I have it all figured out, because I promise you I don't. I guess I'm just hoping to remind myself mostly (and anyone else who's child may not be as bossy as mine :) ) that all they really care about is our attention. 

I hope you hear far less from me from now on. If you don't feel free to remind me to 'put down your phone'

xoxo,
Rachel 

Unexpected

I have 12 friends who are pregnant.
 Twelve.
 Twelve people who I see on a weekly basis all in various stages of growing their precious little bumps.
One of my best friends, my neighbor, a co-worker and several close friends from church.
 I can probably think of 5 to 10 more who are 'friends' on social media that are also pregnant.
A friend joked this past week that it feels like everyone is pregnant. 

Everyone IS pregnant.

Did you know that 25% of recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage? 1 in 4.
 So the probability that someone I know's pregnancy wasn't going to be viable seemed inevitable.

 I would have never imagined it would have been mine.

Austin and I started trying in May. We made the decision to try to grow our family and give our sweet daughter a baby sibling. We were hopeful and excited. I had my hopes realistically set on how long it would take. I didn't put pressure on myself to get pregnant immediately since I knew it took almost 6 months with Ellie. But then we were. I took a test early one July morning and (im)patiently waited those lonnnnnng two minutes for that second little line to appear, and then there it was. I kept it a secret from Austin all day. (hardest. secret. ever!) I ran to Target and got the cutest little shirt that said 'I'm the BIG SISTER' and after dinner with friends that evening, I got the shirt from the bag and showed it to him. He didn't get it at first. He said 'oh that's cute. It'll be good for when we need it.' I gave him a look that probably said OH MY GOSH! DON'T YOU GET IT? and then he smiled.

We told a few close friends and family. We were excited to share our news and knowing that we had a normal full term pregnancy before, the thought something could go wrong never crossed our minds.

Two weeks later I noticed some strange symptoms that the nurses assured me were completely normal.
Until I knew that they weren't. 

Three weeks, five ultrasounds and a lot of lab tests later we heard the dreaded truth.. 'There's nothing there.'
Nothing.
 No heartbeat. No sign of life.
The signs were there. The missed period and the craving for lemonade. The sack was there. But the baby wasn't.

I dressed slowly in the bathroom, holding it together for as long as I could. I thanked the ultrasound tech with tears in my eyes and walked out of the room. I stood behind a small wall that separated me from the main waiting room and melted into my husbands arms. 

Have you ever ugly sobbed (not cried but sobbed?) in public? It's rough. 

After an hour of waiting to meet with the doctor we headed out the door to go on with our lives like it hadn't just come crumbling down on top of us.

 I pleaded with God to work a miracle, change the situation, take away my heartache. A plea I cried for those long and painful three weeks. Still, nothing was there.

I sat in my car for a bit before leaving the parking lot that day. I turned on my music and prayed. I asked God why and once more pleaded with him to change things. Please, Lord. Please.
But as my music seemed to grow louder my plea changed. Peace, Lord....peace. Give me peace. Give me your peace, that surpasses all understanding. 'Please Lord, peace...'

Mere moments had passed when I opened up Instagram to take my mind off things when I saw this

captioned with 'He weeps with us and comforts us in our pain and yet He sees what we cannot see. He sees His perfect plan. He sees that even our pain can bring what is best for us. So he holds us close and let's us grieve. He hurts because we hurt. And yet through it all He is working. Working for our good.'

Have you ever had one of those moments where you just knew that God was right there with you? As if you could reach out and physically touch Him? That He heard your prayer and He immediately comforted or answered you? In that moment I felt the full embrace of my Jesus. I knew it was okay to be upset and confused, but I also knew that even though I didn't understand, I still trusted Him.

I spent the weekend loving my family a little harder. I held Ellie a little longer and snuggled her to sleep Saturday night. I paid extra attention to the details of her ever changing toddler face. I noticed she's started to cover her mouth with her hand when she laughs, and wondered who she picked that up from and immediately not caring because it's absolutely adorable. We went to church together as a family on Sunday and worshiped. We sang, mourned, cried (a lot) and felt the love of God all around us. We witnessed a baptism.
It was a good day.
I like to think that when my baby made it back to Jesus that they snuggled and He held that baby as gently as ever. That Jesus explained to my baby how He needed them to stay with Him just a while longer. That my baby felt safe and secure in Christ's arms.

Ya'll. God is good. That fact was never a question in my mind. I may not understand now, or ever why this happened to us but I know now that I don't have to. I know that God is good and He is faithful. I know that He is holding Austin and I close while we mourn the loss of our second child. I know that His plan is better than anything I could imagine.
and I can't wait to see what He's got in store.

'I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss.
Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:
The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning'
- Lamentations 3:20-23

xoxo,
Rachel

Dear People Who Bought Our House

Because I'm clearly way too chicken to leave this in an actual note in the kitchen of the home that my husband and I just sold, I thought I'd write it out here...for everyone else to see :)

' Dear People Who Just Bought Our House,

(You may be thinking to yourself, 'What weirdos write a letter to the new owners of their home?'...well, *waves awkwardly*)

Welcome Home!

I hope those words are as exciting to hear as they are to say! We're so glad you're here. A few Sundays ago you asked the realtors if we could leave for a few hours so you could bring your parents by to show them the house. I went for a walk that day and started thinking that I'd really like to meet you, so I could tell you all the wonderful things about this house and our time here. So I thought to myself, 'I should write them a letter'. My feelings were later confirmed when my husband suggested the same thing unknowingly - that we should leave a little note just welcoming you home.

I imagine that you're a young couple, who has just purchased their first home together. ( I could be wrong. I've been wrong before, although not often...just ask my husband :)! ) I imagine that when you first saw this house and walked through the rooms and hallway that all of these dreams you've had started to take a realistic form before your eyes. That's what happened with us when we were where you are.

We purchased this home in 2012. We were dating then and had thrown the idea of purchasing a home out there as something we'd like to do. I was renting at the time and my boyfriend (now husband) was living at home with his parents. 

(Funny story, when we first decided to start looking for homes this one was the very first one we drove by without a realtor. My husband immediately said 'no...not for us, I don't like it' without ever even going in. I tried to persuade him to go smush our faces up against the windows to look in since it looked like no one was home, but he refused. Sometimes, I'm braver than I should be. But I digress...) 

We signed a contract with a realtor and started what seemed like the never ending search for a home. I think we were about 20 houses in and I told him, after this round if we don't find one..we'll just stay where we are and look again in a few months. I was going bonkers looking at houses every weekend. Our realtor took us out one Saturday with 5 or 6 houses on the list to look through hoping to find the perfect one for us. This house, was the last of them and when we walked in...BAM. Instantly in love. We could see it.... the layout was perfect, the neighborhood was adorable. I loved it. and to my amazement..so did he. We too, wanted our parents to see the house, so just like you, we brought them by to take a look. Fast forward a month or so, a few negotiations and a lot of signatures later....the house was ours!

I moved in first, on November 2, 2012. It was a Friday. That was the night my husband proposed. Right in the middle of the living room you're probably standing in now.

I love this house. I honestly think it's the cutest house on the street (but I'm obviously biased). I love the character and potential. I love that you can be in the kitchen cooking dinner but still hear your family giggling away in the bedrooms. I love the wear of the wood throughout and the trees that line the backyard. I love all the little ways we've left our mark on the house. *Disclaimer - no actual marks to my knowledge aside from one somewhere in front of the fireplace where we dropped our first Christmas tree and it scuffed up the floor...*

I love the memories.

This was the house that became our home. It's where we've cooked hundreds of meals. It was where we brought our first child home to. It's where I walked the length of the house over and over rocking a baby to sleep at 3 in the morning. It's where we've cried with friends and loved ones and it's where we've experienced an immeasurable amount of joy.

It's where we became we.

It's where we've prayed. A lot. 

We've prayed for you! We prayed for you before we ever even knew if there was going to be a 'you'. The day our house was set to hit the market, I stood in the living room and prayed for you. I prayed that you would feel God's unending love and comfort in this home. I prayed that you could rest in this decision knowing that God led you to this house and that this is where He needs you. I prayed that you would fall in love with this house the same way my husband and I did. I pray for the memories you'll make here and all effort you'll put in to make this house your home.

I hope you love this house as much as we have. I hope it's as good to you as it has been to us. And I hope if and when you decide to move, you'll be brave enough to write down all your favorite things and share it with the next people.

Welcome Home!

The Message

I follow this lady on Instagram. I don't know who she is, (creepy right?) but I came to follow her through the oh so wonderful #mugswap. 

What's a #mugswap you might ask? Only the funnest thing ever! It's basically like secret santa, only with coffee mugs. It's every August and it's wonderful. You make fun connections and get to bless someone with a coffee mug and goodies that you've picked out for them only after a tid-bit of information given to you.

So anyway, this lady. Every morning around 6:00am she posts the bible verse of the day, with a fun creative background. It's the same bible verse that everyone else who uses the YouVersion app gets, but I enjoy reading the verse of the day through her posts. She also uses 'The Message' translation. I've always heard of a 'controversy' over this particular translation of The Bible, but that's not the point. I don't personally choose to read The Message simply because I can't ever figure it out. I personally think it's just a more modern, 'book' type read of The Bible that puts passages into more applicable context. ( whoa! big words)

Today's verse reads, in my particular preferred translation of NIV:

'Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship' Romans 12:1

I even have this verse highlighted. I took this to mean, that my physical body and everything it does is to be given to God as sacrifice. Whatever my body may do or be should be acceptable by God. That THIS is a true form of worship.

Now let's look at today's verse via The Message translation:

'so here's what I want you to do. God helping you: take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping, eating, going to work, and walking around life - and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. Don't become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to it's level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, and develops well formed maturity in you.' 

I feel like this verse now has all the footnotes included that were missing before. Not only does it tell me what to do, but it also tells me how without changing the instructions or the result. 

This verse couldn't have come at a better time for me. Ya see, this past Sunday God spoke directly to me through my Pastor. He does this frequently but this past Sunday was like a big ol' bright shiny spot light right down on me. 

He talked about how to focus on the next steps in our faith. He talked about Paul's letters to the Philippians. Specifically when he sends his 'thank you note' back to them for supporting him financially through his ministry, when they had nothing to give. He specifies in Chapter 4 verses 11 - 12 saying:

'I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry. Whether living in plenty or in want'

He talked about our attitude and needing to have an attitude of contentment. 

He asked us, are we content with what we have? With what we don't have? Contentment isn't something that comes natural to us. We live in a culture that teaches us we need more, and if we work for 'it', get 'it' and have more of 'it' we will be satisfied. 

IT doesn't exist.

He talked about how we too, can learn the secret of contentment.

1. Resist Comparisons (Proverbs 14:30)

2. Be Thankful (Ecclesiastes 6:9)

3. Trust God. (1 Timothy 6:17)

 This hit home. I am the QUEEN of comparisons. It's my competitive nature, that drives me to become better than my old self and in reality, those around me. I skim over things daily that I am thankful for. I just brush it off as a part of life that is just 'given' to me and don't think that simple things like running water and the choice of food I eat is something that someone, somewhere may not have.

and Trust God. (whew!) He asked us to answer to ourselves...do we trust God? Want to know what my answer was?....

Sometimes.(!!!!!!)

Sometimes I trust God. 

I am a strong willed, independent, do it for myself kind of person. When a situation is out of my control, I find a way to change my situation to PUT it in my control. It doesn't work that way with God though. 

God used that sermon to break me. He humbled me and brought that spot light back to Him. I was a crying mess during that sermon and it's given me a lot of things to think about. 

So back to the verse this morning...

I read it and knew that it was important, and meant for me to see in The Message translation... 

Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. Embrace what He gives us, the things we need, the things we don't need, but want. Don't fit into a culture that tells us we need more, that we need 'it', that we need control. Be content in God, be content in His decisions and His timing, and live our lives as a sacrifice to Him.

Friends,

He's got this. Don't compare yourselves to others, good or bad. Be thankful for what you have and where you are in life, don't wish for more, and most importantly put your faith in Him. 

be still and know...that He is God.

xoxo,

Rachel

Healthy Habits

I'm going to admit something to you...that may shock some of you, disappoint others and really confuse most...

I thought Pinterest was a stupid idea (whew! I'm glad I finally admitted that!)

When it first came out, I couldn't grasp the concept on how it worked, and really didn't care to try. I rolled my eyes at other peoples straight obsession with pinning. I didn't make an account for the longest time, and only gave in when little posts on Facebook starting popping up saying "Natasha pinned this to her board"...I would want to see what she posted, but couldn't without having an account...(that's how they getcha!) So, finally I created one...but still refused to use it.

UNTIL - like 2 weeks ago. 

It's tons of fun (which I know you already knew) and hubs is happy because it's like new food heaven in our kitchen...'Hey babe, I found a recipe on Pinterest...we're gonna have [insert some delicious sounding meal here]....' 

No complaints from the Husband department. 

One of these days when I get around to remembering to take pictures of my food as I cook it, I'll provide some insight on my adventure into eating healthier...until then, enjoy an empty recipe tab above :)
I've started to follow all kinds of boards...clothes, desserts, DIY, home decorating, desserts, yoga, desserts, running.....desserts. You get the idea. Also weightloss! I saw a pin that said '15 habits of people who lost 30 lbs and kept it off'....that intrigued me. (with all those dessert pins I need as many tips as I can get.)
You can follow that link to read the whole things but I wanted to share some of the ones I deemed as most important, as well as some biblical references to focus on:

Develop routines and make it your lifestyle.
I am not on a 'diet'..I may have been when I first started losing weight, but now it's how I choose to live my life. I make conscious decisions on how I treat my body, with food & exercise. I incorporate healthy choices into everything I do. My body is here to glorify God, and I try my best to treat it accordingly. 

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God' 1Corinthians 10:31

Eat clean (er) foods & Cook at home
I think these two go hand in hand. If you cook at home, you're more likely eating cleaner food just by default. You know what goes into what you're cooking. You can limit the amount of 'unhealthier' choices at home, than you can in a drive through or at a restaurant. Eat your colors.

While the Bible doesn't provide a specific way of eating, it does stress importance on a balance between healthy choices and enjoying 'richer' foods. (source)

Have an accountability system
This one is so important!! I could have never gotten down 40lbs without hubs & my friends and family. They encouraged me, helped me find new recipes, they didn't tempt me. They knew this was important to me. But also, they understood and put me back on track when I did lose sight. I would ask friends to meet me at the gym before or after work. Knowing I had someone counting on me to show up, made me actually show up. Accountability is so important in many aspects of life - especially maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17
 

Practice portion control.
This should be pretty self explanatory. Everything is okay in portion. It definitely takes some serious self control and having that accountability when it comes to portion control. I would use smaller plates so you can only fit so much. Also, I would practice putting my fork down in between bites and drink some water. You'll be surprised at how fast you get full doing this.

'You were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies' 1Corinthians 6:20  

Prioritize exercise
It's not about having time...it's about making time. Do squats while you dry your hair. Jog in place while you watch tv, take your dog for a walk. Meet up with a friend & take an aerobics class. Practice yoga. 30 minutes a day is all it takes. 

'I can do all this through Him who gives me strength' Philippians 4:13
 
Meal plan along with preparing meals and snacks ahead of time.
This one will cut down on the guess work. We meal plan on Sunday's. We would grocery shop according to our list. This not only cuts back on having junk food in the house, but it saves you tons of money. I'd always make more than needed, so we could have leftovers for lunch. Let me be the first to tell you - unless you're an amazing chef who has tons of time on your hands, this part isn't glamorous. Sometimes I'll just take left over grilled chicken, and put some salsa on it and call it a meal. Other times I'd each spinach and a rice cake because it's what I planned for. Knowing what you're going to be eating and planning for it keeps you away from those drive throughs and last minute desperate starvation decisions. 

'For whatever a man sows, that he will also reap' Galatians 6:7
 
Give yourself grace.
I added this one. 
Ya'll we have to give ourselves grace. We have to be willing to understand that we are sinners. We will fall short. But here's a secret....it's okay! Have some ice cream with your kids, enjoy a good meal with your friends...eat a cupcake on a Tuesday because you feel like it. It. Is. Okay.
My pal Sydney wrote a blog that really got to me yesterday
(check it out here)
We (myself included) focus so much on our outward beauty. We're concerned with our weight, how flat our stomach is, where our clothes come from. Friends! It doesn't matter! We are to live our lives to be filled with Christ, not filled with ourselves.Try your hardest, stay active, eat clean, reward yourself and do it all for the glory of God!

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight - 1Peter 3:3-4

In all your ways, submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:6

Now...get up and go for a run :)

xoxo,
Rachel 

committed to prayer

Let me just start by saying...I really stink at blogging.

I always have such good intentions - whether anyone actually reads what I write, is beside the point - I long to be one of those cute, pinterest posting, recipe sharing, inspirational blogs you come across while using stumbleupon.com...

Apparently, unless I up my game a little, this isn't going to happen.

But that's okay!

Let me tell you friends - Our God is great! 

Some of you may already know this, where as others don't agree. But let me tell you why I know He is.

A few months ago I was having a really hard time at my job. I was frustrated for various reasons, but I liked the work and I knew I was working for a great company. My husband and I talked about it and we decided to pray for guidance. We went to The Lord in prayer and said show us, lead us, guide us. If this is the place for me that He would take my frustrations and worries from me and that I would be content. 

All while this was happening a few other things were going on at the same time:
First:
A few miles down the road my mother in law was talking to a client of hers, (she owns her own hair salon) she told me they had just sort of stumbled into a conversation about work, when the woman shared with her that she's been wanting to hire someone for her company, but not really felt like it was the right timing. That she had been praying about advertising for this position but didn't feel that was right path to take. She started describing the position to my mother-in-law who told her that it sounded like something I may like to do, so she gave her my number. 
Also:

Our pastor preached on prayer the next Sunday. He said alot of things during this sermon that stuck with me, but one in particular was that 'we are ordinary people who can pray to an extraordinary God. That we have full access to God anytime we want. 
Ephesians 3:20 says 'He can do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine.' (paraphrase) 
Our pastor asked if you really believe that He can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine? Do you? We need to believe that God answers prayers. He is listening and He hears you. Sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes it's no...but he always answers.

He also said to get specific - to go to God and pray very specific prayers. ( I about have to pray for specific things, I ask God for Him to make it really obvious for me because I'm a pretty oblivious person. If you ever get the chance, ask Austin about the time I walked past a bouquet of flowers about 20 times before he finally pointed them out to me) 

The following Monday hubs and I were sitting at the table for dinner, discussing our day. I expressed to him how I really hoped the lady his mom gave my number to called me. He suggested I give his mom a call and ask for her number instead. I instinctively said no, that I've prayed about this and I trust that if this is what God wants, she'll call me. He agreed and we left it at that...I kid you not, 10 minutes later my phone rang - and it was her! She invited me to come for a introduction interview that upcoming Friday!
All week long that week, we prayed HARD, and very very specific prayers. We knew that if I chose to change jobs a specific amount of money had to be there, that they would understand wanting to work a 2 week notice, we prayed that if God wanted something different for me that it would be easy, that all the doors would be open. 
When I went for that introduction interview, everything we prayed for - happened. Every specific prayer we prayed, was granted. 
I was floored. I had an overwhelming feeling that I was taken care of. That's what God wants - for us to let Him take care of us. After all, He is our Father.

Ya'll - it's SO EASY to think to ourselves 'I got this, I don't need any help' (that's me in a nut shell  **insert Miss Independent lyrics**) But let me say - it's so much easier to give it to God and not worry with it anymore. Trust that He is for you. He wants you to come to Him with everything. Every request, every situation, every fear, every worry, every good news! He wants us to trust Him, confide in Him, and talk to Him. 

Our God is great and 'every good and perfect gift comes from Him' (James 1:17, again paraphrased).
I encourage anyone reading this to know, God is for you, and He wants to hear from you. Commit to praying and conversing with your Father in all situations- even if you haven't in a really, really long time. 
Why not now? He's ready for you, just like He always has been.

xoxo,
Rachel

My fitness journey

I've decided to focus my blog on my faith and walk in Christ, as well as encourage and inspire others in their walk in faith, as well as in health and fitness.

First let me say this...I am NOT in anyway a trainer, nutritionist or certified professional of any form in regards to health and fitness. My journey and my plan works for me.

Before starting any weight loss plan, or physical activity program, I encourage everyone to discuss with their physician to see what is safe and effective for you!

I've had a lot of people ask me how and why I started and I thought it would be a good way to share - to be completely transparent about my struggles and success.

I've always struggled with my size - I'm 5'8 with broad shoulders, 'big bones' and thick leg muscles. "Athletic" is what my body type was referred to as a kid.
Growing up, I was bigger than most of my friends. I remember getting to middle school and having to do those awkward physical exams for PE - I remember weighing more than the other kids. I never really let my size bother me though. I was pretty confident in who I was. I played volleyball, and tennis and was on the track team. Although I wasn't the best in any of those sports, I stuck with them and enjoyed playing. After high school I gave up playing sports and didn't stay active during college.
I put on a good 20 pounds after high school and refused to acknowledge it. I avoided scales and taught myself to think 'it's how you feel, not how much you weigh' (Which I still 100% agree with!) But I was super unhealthy. I would eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and paid no attention to what I put in my body.
I took notice of my habits and unhealthy way of eating around December of 2013. I knew some girlfriends who had some success with Weight Watchers, so I gave it a try. Around that time I also picked up my 2nd job of teaching swim lessons at a locally owned gym. I started swimming and running regularly as well as following a strict, strict diet on the WW plan.
I lost 40 pounds in 5 months:

(left: Summer 2013. right: May 2014)

I learned to love eating vegetables. I gave up breads. pastas and cheese (and wine....periodically :) ). I ate alot of protein and vegetables. I found new recipes and did a ton of meal prep. I would still reward myself with sweets & chocolate as well.

If anyone knows about Weight Watchers, it's all about portion size and what's 'worth' eating verses what isn't. I quickly learned I could eat pizza, pasta & burgers...but I couldn't eat a lot of them. What one slice of pizza would 'cost' in the WW world, I could eat 2 cups of spinach, a 5oz chicken breast, 2 hard boiled eggs and some dressing. SO much more food.

It just made sense to me, and it worked.

I struggled, and gave in to craving every now and then. But I would always get back on track, focusing on my workouts, and putting fuel into my body.

My fitness journey has done more for me than just losing weight and getting in shape. I've had the opportunity to meet new people who have encouraged and inspired me to push forward and keep going. I've drawn closer to God by giving praise to Him for allowing me to have the strength and courage to continue, when really all I wanted to do was quit. I've found fun new ways to stay active and push myself. I've signed up for more races and even am participating in my first triathlon in September. 

Most importantly I want to encourage others to believe in themselves. To truly believe in yourselves and know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are strong and you can do it!

I'll be here to provide encouragement, ideas and tips and recipes along the way!

Here's to you!

xoxo,

Rachel 

Hiatus...OVER!

the definition of Hiatus courtesy of google:  

a pause or gap in a sequence, series, or process.

I'm not sure how long a 'typical' hiatus lasts, but mine was close to a year! (oops!)

Alot has been going on since my last post. I started a new job, spent my first holiday season as a married lady, picked up a second job, started focusing majorly on my health and fitness, went to Texas...and Massachusetts, turned 27. 

See? All kinds of stuff going on.

I wanted to start my blog back up for a few reasons.

First being, I started this blog to bring glory to Christ and make His name famous, and I want to continue that work. 

Secondly, as previously stated I've taken a major turn to focus on my health and fitness and I've found that reading other fitness/health related blogs are helpful, encouraging and have wonderful tips and ideas. I can only hope that my rambling will brighten someone's day with a positive thought or motivation. 

And lastly, it's sort of like a diary that you're willing to share with the world. and lets be honest...what girl doesn't like having a diary? 

Psalm 46:10 says this

'Be still, and know that I am God'

Life can get the best of us, and sometimes it's very very hard to slow down, take a breath and remember to be still. 

But that's what Christ calls us to do - be still. 

I've learned along my walk that God loves when we give everything to Him, and say Lord, you've got this under control. We have no need to worry, stress or try to take it on ourselves - He's taking care of everything for us. Although this is SO hard, especially for people like me who have to have control and get things done - when we put our faith in Him we are rewarded in ways beyond anything we could have hoped. 

I want to get better at being still. I want to commit to spending time daily with Christ while sitting still at the foot of the cross. Not in the car, while I'm drying my hair or wherever else I can fit that time in my day, I want to make the time to sit with Him and listen. It's not really asking that much, if you think about what He's done for me.

Join me friends! Let's commit to sit down daily and spend time with our Father.

xoxo,

Rachel

Mugswap Update

About a month ago, I signed up for a mugswap!

 ( I blogged about it as well, move on to 'Free Gifts' when you're done reading this! ) 

You might be asking yourself...'Whats a mugswap?" Well, I stumbled across this blog and saw that this wonderful lady named Kim was organizing an INTERNATIONAL mugswap. You love coffee, tea or hot chocolate? Do you LOVE funky/fancy/unique/vintage/ALL coffee mugs like me? This was the swap to get involved in.

It's a lot like secret Santa, only with complete strangers. You get your assignment, find out a little bit about your receiver and then send off your package and then patiently, (or in my case compulsively/obnoxiously stare the mailman down) wait for your own secret mug to arrive.

My package arrived a few weeks ago:

How fabulous is that!? 

My senders name is Jeniffer, from Mississippi and y'all let me tell you. She is a God send.

I think one of the reason's I've always been weary of 'blogging' is that I don't ever feel like I have a lot to say. Each week I struggle with something I consider 'worthy' of blogging. I write and re-write these things sometimes 2 or 3 times before I have the guts to press 'publish'.

But today the message for me was clear. 

The Lord is involved in my everyday life.

Maybe one of you out there needs to hear that God cares, that He really is involved in every little thing. Well I'm here today to tell you - HE IS. He cares about us and He's so invested in us. He wants to be apart of our lives, and He wants a relationship with us. So much so, that He has a hand in everything that goes on with us. 

Point in case? - #mugswap2013.

I realize that probably not everyone who signed up for the mugswap is a Christian. I also realize that out of the 800 or so people who participated, that the odds of Jeniffer becoming my mugswap sender are pretty large. (I'm super bad at math or I could give you an actual percentage). Along with the mug and sweet gifts, Jeniffer wrote me an encouraging, lovely note that has found a permanent spot on my fridge. 

This past week, while wondering what to blog about, I came home to find another note in my mailbox from Jeniffer:

Jeniffer has been following this blog, and we're friends on various social networks. She took my desire for accountability partners to heart, and has gone above and beyond to send me helpful and encouraging notes, and uplifting verses.

This note reads 'You've been in my thoughts this week, and I thought you  might need some encouragement today. First of all, you can do this. God holds each of your dreams, and He carefully chooses which to give you. He knows your heart so deeply, and He showers you with gifts'  She also wrote out:
'Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God. May Your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing' - Psalm 143:10

I was blown away by her. How she took the time to write me another uplifting note, and pray for me and my walk with The Lord.

I truly believe The Lord put this together. I know that He knew my heart, and my want to further my relationship with Him. I know He understood that sometimes I fall, I doubt, I fail and I stumble. He knew that I needed accountability partners, in many forms - and He gave me another one, through this mugswap.

I love having someone so far from home that I've never met, and might never get to meet, praying for me and encouraging my walk in Christ. I love getting to do the same for her. I love having a Lord who is so invested in me that He intervenes and acts on my behalf in so many ways, big and small. I love that The Lord brought the mugswap to me and that through that mugswap, He created my friendship with Jeniffer.

I believe God puts these moments in our lives so that we can make a differences in each others walks. We never know why opportunities are presented to us, or what could come of them. Whether it be a mugswap, buying someones meal in the line behind you, or just offering a helping hand or listening ear. God works in our lives in so many ways, and I'm so thankful for that. 

xoxo,
Rachel

Unexpected

Fun Fact About Rachel #93

I'm really stubborn.

(or so I'm told, :] )

I'm also really independent, and don't like admitting defeat. And if I think I'm right about something, good luck changing my mind. 

I am my father's daughter.

If you're reading this than you probably already know I've been asking for people to hold me accountable in various areas of my life. I want to be a good wife and friend. I want to be a great cook and someone who lives a healthy life. But most importantly I want to be a good Christian. 

Last week, I was unexpectedly held accountable to living a Christian lifestyle, and it shocked me. I thought to myself, what gave this person the idea that they had the right to 'be in my business' and that he needed to get over his 'holier than thou' attitude. 

I was pretty mad.

But then The Lord had His way with my stubbornness. I was praying, asking God to calm my heart in this matter and show me how I was supposed to feel, when I heard The Lord say to me ' You wanted to be held accountable...'

BAM. 

Have you ever been proven wrong to your face, and had absolutely no come back to defend yourself? That was me with The Lord's answer...I just sat there, in shame, with no argument to prove my case.

I had asked for, and even wanted people out there who cared enough to hold me to certain standards, and I go upset the first major time it happened. I felt really silly.

At that point, I thanked God for another lesson and the fact that He's so patient and forgiving of how stubborn I can be sometimes.

So this past Sunday at church, our pastor was speaking on being All In for Christ. That we as Christians, and a church live such passionate, Christ centered lives, that it starts to change the city we live in and those around us to where everyone in our town is a follower of Jesus Christ. 

His sermon got me thinking about being all in. I found myself asking if I was really all in? If I had put all I had out there for Jesus, and didn't look back? If I was one of the people that lived that passionate and Christ centered life that he was talking about?
 I knew the answer, and it wasn't what I had expected.
It made me think of how far I've come, and how far I still have to go in my walk with The Lord. But I do still struggle with putting it all out there, and being all in. I still give in to temptation and fall over my own selfish desires. It's taken me a while to realize, that it isn't just an over night change. It's being broken, it's being proven wrong, and it's asking for help.

Today I am thankful for unexpected accountability partners. I'm thankful for unexpected answers. I'm thankful for His patience with me, and His willingness to put up with my stubbornness. I'm especially thankful for a God that calls me out and proves me wrong, and still loves me. 

I pray today friends, that not only I would give it my all, but that you will too. Let's put all we have in our Lord, and live the lives that He's called us to live.

'Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

-Romans 12:2

xoxo,

Rachel.

I know this is Love.

It's been almost 2 weeks since I've posted. 

Oops....I let life get a hold of me - where are my accountability partners?!?

...kidding :)

I think I've been avoiding writing this post, because I knew what The Lord had put on my heart to talk about, and it's not an easy topic for me.

My Testimony.

I grew up in an ELCA Lutheran Church, where my parents were both active members of the congregation. My Mom was the Music Director, and my Dad a member of the choir, and church council. It wasn't unusual for us to spend each Sunday morning, afternoon and Wednesday evening at church for various activities, and events. 

I eventually stopped going to church regularly after high school. I never really felt 'at home' in the church my parents chose to attend, and didn't make it a priority to find one where I did. 

Throughout college I hit a serious stage of rebellion, where I got drunk, did drugs and slept with men who did not love or respect me. I was searching for some deep meaning in life that I thought I could find through all of these things. I tried to go back to my parents church periodically, but still found it boring and dull. I just wrote it all off as 'not for me'.

Towards the end of college I was in a bad place.  I had turned into someone a younger version of me wouldn't know, or like. I didn't take my responsibilities, school, job or life seriously. My life consisted of work, party, sleep, class, repeat. I was unhappy with who I was, the people around me and the things I was a part of. I needed something more.

Rewind a little:

I met my husband in the summer of 2008 where we both worked at the YMCA. I was a lifeguard and he was a camp counselor, (cute right? summer love...) We went out a few times, hung out in groups of friends, but ultimately it didn't work out. We parted as friends, with no intentions of pursuing a relationship further.

Fast-Forward to 2011:

I'm working at my job as a waitress, shortly after making a serious decision to change my ways and I see him, sitting in the bar giving me this 'hey come talk to me' look. I was not looking for any attention, I wanted to be left alone to get out of this mess I was in and to figure out what my life meant. But little did I know The Lord had different plans for us.

I 100% truly believe God gave me my husband. He sent him to me when He knew exactly what I needed. 

Christ brought Austin to me, and Austin brought me to Christ. 

Austin was involved in the children's ministry at a local church plant, leading the service for the children on Sunday mornings as well as youth events on Wednesday evenings. His love for The Lord was one of the first things I noticed about him. Soon we were attending church together on a regular basis, and I found myself digging out my old bible to find what I had been looking for, for so long.

After about a year together, Austin and I found a new church that we both really enjoyed going to together. My desire to know Christ more was emerging slowly, but surely. We both got into serving at our new church to get more involved, and making steps together as a couple to draw closer to Christ, only deepened my individual want and need for more of Christ. In August of 2012 I made the decision to fully commit my life to Christ.

and it's been the best decision I've ever made.

I wake up really early sometimes, and quietly sit in God's presence. I love reading His word early in the morning when my house is quiet and still. It's like I have The Lord all to myself, and we get to talk about everything. I share with Him that I still struggle with who I used to be. I still stumble, I still don't feel good enough sometimes.

But then I remember Isaiah 43 - 
'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine'

and 

' I am redeemed. You set me free. So I'll shake off these heavy chains, and wipe away every stain. I'm not who I used to be. I am redeemed.'
-Big Daddy Weave

I asked God quite frequently to continue to give me faith. To trust Him.To  learn to love who I am.

'Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!'
- 2 Corinthians 5:17


I'm a sinner. I get caught up in life. I'm broken. But the great thing about God that I've learned is He takes all my mess, and makes it beautiful. He is jealous for me. He loves me, and His love is great.


When I look at Austin, my heart fills up with so much joy and I smile to myself and think 'I know this is love'

and when I read God's word, worship His name at church and listen to His music, my heart fills up with so much joy and I smile to myself and think

'I know this is love'

xoxo,

Rachel.

Free Gifts

Fun Fact about Rachel #83:

I love coffee...a lot.

I also love coffee mugs. So much so that my husband asked me to pick which ones I loved most, and then move the others into the attic because we were running out of room.

When I came across this blog and read about a mugswap, I signed up instantly! I received my assignment earlier this week, (the person I'm to buy a mug for, a little bit about her likes and style and her mailing information.) How fun is that!?

Today I found the perfect mug for her:

I hope when (and if) she sees this post, that she'll know how excited I am for her to have this mug.

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I've had this deep desire to expand my relationship with Christ. I'm eager to know my purpose, and how God wants me used to do His will. I want to boldly share my faith in Jesus because I want others to know the amazing love of Christ. I want every person I come into contact with to know Him intimately.


So I've been reading through Ephesians this week. 

My church Vintage City, is in a series called 'Identity' discussing who we are, who we used to be, and who we are in Christ. 

I think Ephesians 1 does a great job of helping me understand who God says I am.

• You are chosen (v. 4).
• He has made you holy and blameless.
• You are adopted as children through Jesus Christ (v.5)

It's hard sometimes to read these promises and feel worthy. I always feel like I can do better, I can be better.

 Paul warms my heart in verses 17-19:

'I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.'

I pray this prayer often. Not only for myself but for so many others too. My heart sometimes feels like its busting with love for Christ, so much so that I want everyone else to have that same feeling.

Ephesians 2 I think, does a good job of telling us who we were. Paul describes it for us:

 'All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath' (v.3)

This is what it is without God, we have no hope of saving ourselves.

But then...
'But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions -- it is by grace you have been saved' (v. 4-5)

'For by grace I have been saved through faith. And this is not my own doing; it is the gift of God' (v.8)

It's a gift, simple as that. The gift of grace.  
I'd like to think that God feels the same way about us accepting Him and His grace the same way I do about my mugswap buddy getting her mug. 

I hope she'll know how excited I am for her to have this gift. 

God feels the same way about our relationship with Him. When we feel His love, that we will know how excited He is for us, and wants to give us the gift of grace.

Luke 8

Fun Fact about Rachel #283:

I really do not like rain.

It irritates me, my pants get all wet, I always always forget my umbrella, and my hair has a vendetta against the rain. So I get to suffer the embarrassment that is my hair on any day there is a slight amount of moisture in the air. So with that being said, has anyone else noticed that it's rained like...all year? Ugh. It rained on my birthday...at the beach, it rained on my wedding day...and it rained on my honeymoon. I really really do not like rain.

I was probably around 17 before I figured out that the world did not revolve around me ( !?!?! I KNOW, I was surprised too.) So just because I don't like rain, obviously doesn't mean The Lord is going to command the heavens close up and quit raining, simply because I want it to.

Hubs and I have been working our way through the Gospels. We've started on Luke and came across chapter 8 yesterday. 

There is SO MUCH in this chapter I think worthy of study. I spent an entire day reflecting on the first 15 verses ( The Parable of the Farmer Scattering Seed - it'll make you think! )

But what stuck out to me most yesterday was when Jesus Calms the Storm:

One day Jesus said to his disciples, "Let's cross to the other side of the lake." So they go into a boat and started out. As they sailed across, Jesus settled down for a nap. But soon a fierce storm came down on the lake. The boat was filling with water, and they were in real danger. The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!" When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and the raging waves. Suddenly the storm stopped and all was calm. Then he asked them, "Where is your faith?" The disciples were terrified and amazed. 'Who is this man?' they asked each other. 'When he gives a command, even the wind and waves obey him!' 

- Luke 8:22-25

I would have been one of those disciples freaking out. I think The Lord pointed this out to me and had it sit on my heart so heavy, as to ask me where my faith was? 

See, I'm currently 'mid-storm' with a certain situation in my life. The figurative waters are rising, the waves are high, and sometimes I get really afraid that I'm going to drown. I've tried and tried to do everything in my ability to survive this storm, but it's too big, too strong and I'm freaking out. 

Have you ever read a passage in the bible, and instantly thought, "I was supposed to read that" well, that was me yesterday morning. I knew The Lord was speaking to me through Luke. Where is my faith? Have I fully given this problem to God, and let Him take control?

I love how the passage says 'the storm stopped, and all was calm'. Even though I don't care for rain, how beautiful is everything after it stops? The sky is always bluer than before, the suns a little warmer, everything is greener, and everything does seem calm. I think that's how 'storms' in our lives are, and sometimes when it rains it pours and everything goes wrong all at once. But how great is it when we give those storms to The Lord, and have the faith that with Him, we'll be fine. We can count on Him, to calm the waves and know that everything will be beautiful in the end. For me, the storms and rain are worth it.

xoxo,

Rachel

Currently listening to: Hillsong United Pandora Radio. (it's a good one :) )

Define: Accountable

So, I've said I wanted to be held 'accountable'. My whole purpose of starting a blog. You may be thinking, 'What is it you want to be held accountable for?'

 Good question.

I want to be a better Christian. I want to be a good wife. I'd love to be a great cook. I want to get into better shape. I want to be a good person, someone others can trust and depend on. I want to be held accountable.

I've tried some new recipes lately, some better than others. But my wonderful husband keeps eating the things I make, even if he does give it a few weird looks first. I try my hardest to exercise every day, and stay on a healthy eating plan, but lets be honest - I really like chocolate. I try to be honest and do the things I say I'm going to with my friends and family, and be a genuine and trustworthy person. But to do all these things, I need people there to help me stay on my path. 

Early on in my walk with Christ, I was told by a friend, that we're to 'pour into one another'(....Um, what? Pour into me?) She gave me a look and said, let me explain. Everyone is at a different place on their walk with Christ. Some have just started, others are farther along. We need to pour into one another loving and caring for each other, to keep us each on track in our walk. We hold each other accountable. Of course, I run home and go straight to scripture.

'As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.' - Proverbs 27:17

'Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.' - James 5:16

'Therefore encourage on another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.' - 1 Thessalonians 5:11


 Ohhhh. Now I get it. We need each other. Well, duh, of course we do. 

Hebrews 10 says 'And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (v24-25)

  If I want to be held accountable, I need others to surround myself with. I need people to build me up, to confess to, to pray for me and me for them. I need encouragement. 

Jesus loves me. He loves me so much he died for me. It seems only right that I live my life for Him, and have others there to help me stay on track.

I've basically wanted to blog, so that not only can I hold myself accountable with my devotions and scripture reading, but that whoever chooses to read this can join in. I'll take all the accountability partners that want to help.

xoxo,
Rachel

ps. currently listening to: Stay and Wait - Hillsong